Jealousy is what makes

A second factor is a history of abandonment, loss or betrayal. For example, one man traced his jealousy to learning that his father had cheated on his mother for many years—and everyone else knew about it except him. How could he trust anyone after that? Another woman described a history of relationships with men who cheated on her—so she had an expectation of betrayal.

A third factor at play is attachment style. Fear of abandonment can often lead to more jealous feelings. A fourth factor is the investment you have in the relationship. Often, in the first few months of courtship with someone, you have less invested and you are less jealous.

As the relationship develops, you become more vulnerable to jealousy, because you have more to lose. Relationships that are shorter lived, ones that are superficial or have less meaning, are ones where you will be less prone to jealousy. In fact, one woman indicated to me that she has pursued only superficial relationships because of her fear of betrayal.

A fifth factor is the uncertainty about the relationship. For example, long-term relationships that have more invested are less prone to jealousy. For example, couples have greater uncertainty with geographic distance or where one partner is involved with someone else e. Other forms of uncertainty include differences between partners in level of commitment, differences in expectations of monogamy , and differences in values of appropriate behavior.

A sixth factor is your perception that you have no desirable alternatives for a partner if this relationship ends. You think that this relationship is essential to your happiness. If you think you have good alternatives, you are less prone to jealousy. You and your partner should be open and upfront with each other about friendships and work relationships. Transparency will help you feel more secure.

Show one another how much you value each other by putting your relationship before your work, your coworkers, and your friends. Every time you do this, you build trust. She is passionately devoted to helping couples achieve thriving relationships.

For information on a Bringing Baby Home workshop, counseling services, or to subscribe to her Tip Sheet, visit her website. Search for:. His response hit on something really profound for me. Subscribe below to receive our blog posts directly to your inbox. Enter Email Confirm Email. Obsessional jealousy: A narrative literature review. Iranian Journal of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences.

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I Accept Show Purposes. Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. What Is Jealousy? Identifying Jealousy. How to Handle Jealousy in Marriage. Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback!

Sign Up. What are your concerns? Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Related Articles. Dealing With Jealousy in Marriage. Why Do Some Relationships Fail? Coping With Separation Anxiety in Relationships. What Is a Rebound Relationship? What Is Fearful Avoidant Attachment?

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